What is a rock?

In a recent coaching session, my client and I stumbled upon the metaphor of a rock. The rock represented so many things, all of them relevant to our conversation…

A source of stability, a place to be grounded.

A source of protection, something to hide behind.

When held aloft, a sign of strength.

Rock art by Rebecca Lamperski; photo by me

The nature of a rock is a combination of permanence, transformation and possibility.

A rock, left alone, will continue to be just as it is - it doesn’t grow or die.

In the right conditions it will be shaped by the elements – a rock on the beach will be smoothed by the movement of the ocean and the friction of the sand and other rocks.

With a hammer and chisel, we can choose to shape the rock into anything we want it to be. With some paint, a brush and some imagination we can create the lovely art in the photo above, a gift from my talented friend, Rebecca.

As my client and I explored the many ways we were using the rock metaphor, we realized that the rock each of us pictured was different. Both were large enough to hide behind and small enough to lift, but the shape, color and textures we imagined were different.

The Rock Game

As we talked about the variations in how we envisioned the rock, I was reminded of a common and frustrating organizational dynamic that my co-workers and I used to joke about years ago: The Rock Game. Here’s how you play:

1.     The leader gives the employee an assignment with vague requirements.

Bring me a rock.

2.     The employee completes the assignment to the best of his ability and hands it back to the leader.

Here’s a rock that I think you will like.

3.     The leader says it’s not quite right, but doesn’t say specifically what is wrong or how to fix it.

That’s not a good rock, bring me another rock.

4.     The employee continues to make changes without ever getting clarity on what success looks like.

More rocks.

5.     Eventually, perhaps, the employee submits a product that meets the leader’s expectations.

Aha! Now that’s a good rock!

6.     The employee is relieved to have finally offered a good rock but isn’t at all sure how the last rock is better than the ones before.

What’s a “good rock”?

7.     The leader asks for another rock…back to Step 1.

It may have been that the leader knew exactly what s/he wanted but didn’t take the time to define success for the employee. Maybe the leader didn’t actually know, but was unwilling to say so. Maybe s/he thought it was so obvious that it didn’t need to be said, even after multiple disappointing attempts.

So, what is a rock?

What does the rock represent to you? In what ways does it show up in your work and in your life?

Is the rock a symbol of strength, protection, permanence? Can it be all of those at the same time?

What does your rock look like? Could other people accurately describe it? What do their rocks look like?

In what aspects of your work or your life are you playing The Rock Game? Do you find yourself frustrated that other people aren’t meeting your expectations? How can you learn to describe your rock so that others clearly understand what it is that you want?

I invite you to explore these questions and notice when and how the metaphor comes up. In the meantime, in case no one has told you lately…

You rock!